I am an optimist most days;
The world is made of infinite possibilities where everything works out eventually,
Where no matter how much my heart hurts today, I may actually be able to laugh tomorrow.
But some days, the world presses in harder.
Some days the veil wears thin.
Sometimes the world seems keen to drag me underwater even though it knows I can’t swim.
And when I can hold my breath no longer,
When the unnatural silence forces me to pry my eyes open,
Things may get even worse.
I may stop wanting to wear yellow,
Or earrings or pink lipstick.
I may want nothing more than sleep,
And oblivion and, kingdom come
And, a reminder that heaven may truly exist.
But nevertheless, I can do nothing but wait.
Wait for the longing for company to return,
For the redemptive ecstatic bliss of joy to shudder through my bones again.
To feel the spark of fight and sarcasm return,
To suddenly realize I may be funny, and pretty and, pretty all right as well.
When the current relents ever so slightly, as if teasing me into life again.
When the water seems calm again, and peaceful, and oh so beautifully clear.
We live worlds apart, my love
But oh so close are our worlds, they can kiss.